Listen, writing isn’t magic. It isn’t some kind of innate talent that one either has or doesn’t — it’s just routine and ritual, habit and work. At least for me. I’m an infinite number of Borges monkeys, which makes it hard to find pants.
But you’re here for the free stuff, so here’s the deal:
I’m going to send one budding, current, or retired writer their very own black book in which to start their own true tale of liquor, lust, and primer-gray Camaros, and because that first blank page is always intimidating I’m going to mark it up for you. No excuses, get to writing.
I’ll select one winner at random from the ones of answers I’m bound to receive. You can send me your answer as a comment below, but you’d be a sucker to do so and tip everybody off. The better option is to email your response to email@example.com, or DM me on twitter at @jamesostafford.
Here’s your puzzler: Who is this dude? (Hint: You can find the answer on this site. Happy hunting.)
I submitted my answer to your e-mail address. My stories will not be about liquor and lust and primer grey Camaros, but about coffee and cigarettes and exploding Cavaliers (true story).
I can’t wait to read about the exploding Cavalier (I hit a horse with one), but unfortunately I may have to. Your guess — “The guy who played Dr. Messner on episode four of Touched By An Angel’s third season” — was incorrect.
Goddammit, I cannot find my facial recognition hardware!! I sent you an e-mail, just to let you know that I am doing a tiny bit more than just staring at the wall and harassing people on twitter.
That guy up there? Without my gear all I’ve got is Tom Hanks brother. Which is incorrect, and I am okay with that.
Is it Tom Hanks’s brother, Hank Hanks? You’ll just have to wait and see.
And you did an outstanding job typing with your fingers crossed, I must say.
I wish my bird brain would hold more information because I know this face, I remember reading the post and now I can’t think of who it is. AAAAAAACCCCK! You can find me clicking around your site for the next hour or two back tracking down my reading trail.