Why It Matters

Summer is almost here. Whether that’s good or bad is a personal decision: Some of us love sun and fun, others cower in the safety of our air-conditioned homes.

As the late 20th century philosopher Robert Palmer once said, “Some feel the heat and decide that they can’t go on.” Glenn Frey and Don Henley, his colleagues in the muso-philosophy game, were more fond of the heat that was coming off the street, but the fact remains: ’80s pop music was all about the heat.

On the cooler end of the spectrum, Rainbow preferred things “Stone Cold,” the Red Hot Chili Peppers were up for some “Stone Cold Bush,” and Tone Loc was down for some “Funky Cold Medina.”

Okay, so here’s your choice. You must choose one and only one, and you must defend your answer. Failure to observe these two simple rules will doom you to a lifetime of deep-fried ice cream. Are you a hot or cold dessert, deep-fried ice cream? Make up your damned mind.

Would you rather be:

— Too cold

— or too hot?

Answers must be under a bajillion words, and come on people: Let’s make Laura B. proud.