From the Stacks

From the Stacks: Platinum Blonde – Standing in the Dark

platinum blonde standing in the dark front

 Oh lord, where to begin.  These guys were inducted into the Canadian Music and Broadcast Industry Hall of Fame in 2010, and good for them.  I mean, at least they aren’t Celine Dion.

This is one of the hundreds of promos in my stacks that have never actually been out of their sleeves.  I’m listening to Platinum Blonde via the intergooglewebtubes as I write this, and I encourage you not to follow suit.  Imagine the most generic ’80s synth-pop dreck that you can muster, and then make it Canadian.

But listen, we all know why we’re here:  It’s that cover.  Pouty lipped Mark Holmes gives us a “don’t hate me because I’m beautiful” hush while band mates Sergio Galli and Chris Steffler make sure we notice their lead singer’s ass.  On the horizon sits a mysterious lone figure, because this is the eighties and that’s arty and the album is entitled Standing in the Dark so obviously the only dark figure should be seated.

So yes, Standing in the Dark is on its way to the Bad Album Cover Hall of Fame, and that’s before you even see the back cover.

platinum blonde standing in the dark rear

5 replies »

  1. So many, many things to love about this cover. At first I thought it was one guy in three poses. The action shot on the back is just so very dreadfully composed. From left to right – “I’m doing the Ed Grimley!” ” Look! I’m going to try and open this door that is just in the middle of nowhere!” “Hee hee! I’m going to kick Mark right in the bum!”

    Like

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