This is one of the hundreds of promos in my stacks that have never actually been out of their sleeves. I’m listening to Platinum Blonde via the intergooglewebtubes as I write this, and I encourage you not to follow suit. Imagine the most generic ’80s synth-pop dreck that you can muster, and then make it Canadian.
But listen, we all know why we’re here: It’s that cover. Pouty lipped Mark Holmes gives us a “don’t hate me because I’m beautiful” hush while band mates Sergio Galli and Chris Steffler make sure we notice their lead singer’s ass. On the horizon sits a mysterious lone figure, because this is the eighties and that’s arty and the album is entitled Standing in the Dark so obviously the only dark figure should be seated.
So yes, Standing in the Dark is on its way to the Bad Album Cover Hall of Fame, and that’s before you even see the back cover.