Are there still porn stars? I don’t mean people who do the dirty dog on film—let’s face it, that’s half the population at this point—but stars?

I really don’t know, but I assume not. What would be the point when real stars and C-List celebrities pop up in one sex tape or another every other week? It’s only a matter of time before the Queen Elizabeth/Margaret Thatcher tape surfaces.

But they roamed the earth for a period of time: Ginger and Amber Lynn, Christy Canyon, Traci Lords, Marilyn Chambers, Seka, Annie Sprinkle, Aunt Peg, Sharon Mitchell, Nina Hartley. I mean, I’ve been told those are some names. I wouldn’t know, of course.

Sigh. I suppose we’ll always have Ron Jeremy. Anyway, songs related to porn. Here we go:

“Stone Cold Bush,” The Red Hot Chili Peppers. In true porn fashion, if you don’t want to follow the whole plot you can skip to around 1:30 for Traci’s cameo.

“The Girls of Porn,” Mr. Bungle. Faith No More lead singer Mike Patton’s side project with an ode to their favorite side project.

“Dirty Movies,” Van Halen. Another cut off the classic Fair Warning.

“Porn Star,” Lynam. Kind of a cool little track from an Alabama-based band. Give them a little love.

“Pornography,” The Cure. Not very porny but hey, there’s the title.

“Rocket Queen,” Guns N’ Roses. Not really a porn song, but in the interest of getting it just right Axl made the beast with two backs with drummer Steven Adler’s girlfriend while the studio crew recorded them. Oh, Axl: Is there anything you won’t do for your fans, you wily perfectionist?

Skip to 2:30 if you must.

“Dirty Movie,” Willy Porter. Off his self-titled album. Check it out.

“No Bone Movies,” Ozzy Osbourne. Ozzy’s ode to onanistic abstinence.

Whew, I need a nap. Come on! It was a long long list. Anything to add? I should be ready to listen in a few hours.