Jody’s boss at the talent agency got us into the premiere of Wes Craven’s new movie, Shocker. The event was happening at Universal Studios — red carpet, paparazzi, the whole bit. The film’s cast and crew turned out, joined by a bunch of B and C-listers. Alice Cooper had a cut on the soundtrack, so he was there, too.

The house was packed with plastic stars and industry types. We headed down the aisle, looking for two empty seats. Down, down, down. People stared at us briefly, their expressions quickly turning to apathy when they realized we were nobodies. We spotted two seats in the far left corner of the second row. “We can’t get to them,” Jody said.

“Why not?”

“I’m not going to step over all of those people.”

“They won’t care. It’s a movie theater,” I said.

“Look, there’s that girl from Nightmare on Elm Street 3. I’m not going to stick my butt in her face. It’s undignified,” Jody said.

One empty seat rested in the front row. “Let’s just step over,” I suggested.

“You first,” she said. I jumped onto the seat, which immediately folded closed. Popcorn flew into the air and cascaded to the ground like a bloom of sparkling fireworks. The theater erupted in applause. I swear I could make out Alice’s laugh in the back of the room.

I stood and brushed the popcorn from my hair in a manner that I hoped Jody thought looked dignified, but it didn’t matter. She was already halfway down the second row, whispering “excuse me” and sticking her butt in C-listers’ faces.