A thousand years ago when Jody and I were arguing over tattoos, they weren’t ubiquitous. Sailors had them, grandfathers, carnies — why a beautiful girl like Jody wanted one made no sense to me.

Within a couple of years, the whole modern primitive thing exploded. Tattoos and body piercings became as common as earrings and rat tails were a few years earlier. Jody always was ahead of the curve.

Here we are 25 years later, and my son just walked out the door to get his first tattoo. I shouldn’t be irritated, but I am and I’m not sure why. I think it’s because I don’t want him to get a tat that he’s going to regret. How many people are walking around with nautical stars, barbed wire, butterfly back tats or various tribal designs now, wishing they’d maybe given the matter a bit more thought before going under the needle?

If you’re going to mark up your body, make sure it counts — no Yosemite Sam “Back Off” tats on your ass or “Slippery When Wets” on your inner thighs; no “Nickelback Rules” or “Ed Hardy 4 Ever.” Take your time, design something meaningful, and remember to get it where the judge can’t see it.

Anyway, tattoo songs:

“Tattoo,” The Who. I can’t hear the word “tattoo” without this Who Sell Out track running through my mind.

“Tattooed Love Boys,” The Pretenders. A favorite track from a favorite band.

“Tattoo,” Van Halen. People really ragged on this cut from the reunited Van Halen, but I thought it was okay.

“Tattoo’d Lady,” Rory Gallagher. A Rory Gallagher tattoo? Yeah, I might go for that.

“Tattoo Empire,” Blue Oyster Cult. I remember a few years ago reading that BOC played a gig at a nudist colony. If the sight of a bunch of naked middle-aged rockers won’t turn you off of tattoos, nothing will.

“Tattooed Dancer, Ozzy Osbourne. No Rest for the Wicked was Ozzy’s last album of new material released in the ’80s. It’s also his first with guitarist Zakk Wylde.

“Tattoos and Dirty Girls,” Million Dollar Reload. I picked this one up off of a promo that I was sent. Not a bad track.

***SUPER DELUXE ZEPPO-FREE BONUS TRACK***

— photo public domain / Wikimedia Commons