Public Domain, Wikimedia Commons

Of all the kinds of useless, romantic useless has to be the worst. There’s nothing worse than still having feelings for someone who doesn’t care whether you live or die. I mean, that’s what I’ve heard.

Second would be familial uselessness. I think that’s where so many problems arise between parents and children. Childhood is really just an 18 year transfer of power. As parents we begin the process as 100% useful to those little useless blobs, and by the time they move out we’re useless but for our wallets. On second thought, maybe this is the worst kind of uselessness.

Next I suppose is work uselessness. Everybody wants to make a contribution, or at least know that they could.

Finally, there’s social uselessness. We all need to contribute something, be it time, vibes, or cash. Setting a good example is good enough–we just have to be in there somewhere.

I’m sure there are plenty of other ways to be useless. Publishing playlists of useless songs comes to mind, but let’s get to the music:

“All This Useless Beauty,” Elvis Costello.

“Useless,” Depeche Mode.

“Can’t See (Useless)” Oingo Boingo.

“The Last Worthless Evening,” Don Henley.

“Worthless Thing,” Elvis Costello.

“Long and Wasted Years,” Bob Dylan.

“Wasted Time,” The Eagles.

“Wasted Years,” Iron Maiden.

There you have it: Eight useless, worthless, wasted songs from my personal playlist. What did I miss? I’m listening.