Poems

Automated Efficiency

Karen V. Bryan, Flickr Creative Commons

 

Ready for the holiday shopping season? No you’re not.

Automated Efficiency

Please insert or swipe
Your Club Rewards Card.

Would you like to apply for a
Club Rewards Card?

Please insert or swipe
Your Megastore Visa.

Would you like to apply for a
Megastore Visa and
Save ten percent today?

Please insert or swipe
Your debit or credit card.

Do you want to use
Debit or credit?

Would you like to
Donate five dollars to
Kittens For Convicts?

Would you like to purchase a
Two year protection plan?

Would you like to round
Your purchase up and add
Your change to
Your Megastore Savers Account?

Would you like to apply for a
Megastore Savers Account?

Would you like to tip?
Please select
10 percent
15 percent
Other

Please confirm
You have read the
Terms and Conditions.

Please enter the
Number of bags you need.

Please confirm
You do not need bags.

Please enter
Your PIN.

Please confirm
Your PIN entry.

Your total is
Eighty-nine cents.

Press approve to confirm
Your total.

Press one to confirm
Your approval.

Would you like
Your receipt
Emailed
Printed
Emailed and Printed

Press Yes to confirm
No Receipt.

You have canceled
Your transaction.

To take a brief

Survey for a

Chance to win a

New car

Press Yes.

Thank you for
Shopping at Megastore.

Categories: Poems

2 replies »

  1. And just when you get to the end…

    ‘You have entered an invalid number.
    Please begin again and insert or swipe
    Your Club Rewards Card.’

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.