Suckers. Chumps. Marks. What would advertising be without them?

That’s the most important aspect of a good education: It’s your best defense against suckerdom. You’re right: You’ll probably never use trigonometry in your daily life. You’ll never have to explicate a poem or discuss the sociopolitical and economic factors that landed a canal in Panama rather than Nicaragua, either. But what you’re exercising when you’re learning those things is your thinking muscle, and once that’s developed you are less likely to believe that a spray can full of goop can turn a screen door into a speed boat.

You’ll be less likely to fall for flattery, too, but that’s not a problem for you. You’re too smart to for that kind of ploy, and you’re damned attractive, too. Only a beautiful, brilliant person like you would check out the following songs for suckers:

“Sucker For Love,” Prince Paul.

“Suicide Chump,” Frank Zappa.

“Sucker In A 3 Piece,” Van Halen.

“Chump,” Green Day.

“Just Another Sucker On the Vine,” Tom Waits.

“The Village Idiot,” The Sonics.

“No Chump Love Sucker,” Red Hot Chili Peppers.

“Idiots Rule,” Jane’s Addiction.

There you have it: Eight songs for the sucker in your life. What did I miss? I’m listening.