Who the heck bought me an eight pack of tube socks? If Christmas day represents our greatest tradition of giving, the day after Christmas is when we revel in the spirit of giving back.
Not for me, though. Let the other suckers stand in those ridiculously long return lines. I’ll just hold onto my chub pack of tube socks. They’re going to back in style eventually, after all.
Anyway, songs to listen to while you stand in the returns line:
“No Return,” The Kinks.
“Cheap Day Return,” Jethro Tull.
“Runaway Return,” Fugazi.
“Happy Returns,” Steven Wilson.
“The Comet Returns,” Flipron.
“The Whole Point of No Return,” Robert Wyatt.
“The Wind Returns Into the Night,” Tucker Zimmerman.
“Return of the Rat,” Nirvana.
There you have it: Eight songs to listen to while you stand in the returns line. What did I miss? I’m listening.
Why It Matters 
“Return to Sender” – Elvis Presley
“Return of the Spiders” – Alice Cooper
“Point of Know Return” – Kansas
“Return to San Francisco” – Merle Haggard
“The Return of Jackie and Judy” – The Ramones
“The Hero’s Return” – Pink Floyd
“Return to Paradise” – Elton John
“Return to Fantasy” – Uriah Heep
“When He Returns” – Bob Dylan
“Return to Me” – Dean Martin
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That’s many happy returns, Robbo.
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